


Tequila Motorboat

by FloralEyeBalls



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: 2 k's, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Motorboating, Nipple Licking, Tequila, bad friend gabe, dodgy compliments, drunk AF pete, im sorry, irresponsible alcohol consumption, like rekked, poor Patrick, potential threesome, puke, these are the worst tags I've never used
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete drinks a little too much and gives Patrick the worlds first Tequila Motorboat™</p>
<p>"I'd like to say that Pete's dates don't usually end with his face in someone's damp crotch but that would be a lie. He is usually conscious though...and less vomit covered."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tequila Motorboat

**Author's Note:**

> based off the tumblr prompt "You spilled your drink down my shirt then tried to drink it off me." 
> 
> Shout out to tequila...and motorboats

Pete's night started out well. The music was loud and obnoxiously bassy but he was drinking Gabe's booze and found it hard to care about anything, other than his solo cup and the cute blond guy Gabe introduced him to about three quarters of a bottle of tequila ago. 

"And you've got like...eyes! I love boys with eyes!" Pete slurred loudly at Patrick. He could admit that drunk flirting was not his strong point. He always managed to get what he wanted in the end though. 

"Yeah well I also find eyes a big plus in a potential lay." Patrick said sarcastically. He pretty much only went to parties for this exact reason, to make fun of drunk kids. Except usually they weren't this persistent...or cute. 

Since Gabe introduced him to Pete at the start of the night, all he's done is complement Patrick. At first Patrick liked the attention but just assumed that Pete would get bored of his dry humour and go find someone else to rub off on. However that wasn't the case, as Pete got drunker his compliments just got worse and sometimes outright creepy, like when he told Patrick that he "would be honoured to wear your skin". 

"Hey! You're not just a lay!" Pete said, sounding offended. "Everyone thinks I always want sex but sometimes... I don't."

"Sometimes you don't want sex? Wow and they said chivalry was dead." 

"Maybe I want to marry you first!" Pete slurred, gesticulating angrily with his solo cup, "I am capable of love!"

On his last exclamation, Pete's tequila concoction sloshed out of its solo cup and all over Patrick's white t-shirt. 

"Fuck!" They both swore in unison. 

"I'm so sorry! I'll fix it, just let me-" And then Pete had his arm around Patrick's waist, holding him in place as he attempted to suck his drink out of Patrick's shirt. 

"What are you doing!" Patrick squealed, gaining the attention of most of the packed living room. "STOP IT PETE!" He exclaimed as Pete's tongue came out and turned t-shirt sucking into nipple licking. 

"Just let me-" Pete came up, breathing heavily, and tried to tug Patrick's shirt off from over his head. However Patrick was having no part of it and refused to lift his arms up, so Pete just lifted his shirt as much as he could and ducked under it, coming face to face with Patrick's bare chest. 

At this point the whole room watched in confusion as Pete make slurping noises from under Patrick's wet t-shirt, and Patrick blushed furiously and flailed his arms in an attempt to knock Pete off him. 

Patrick finally succeeded with one harsh push down on Pete's shoulders. Pete went down quickly onto his knees and grabbed onto Patrick's thighs for support, creating yet another strange scene for the confused party goers. 

"Please don't tell me you spilt it on my crotch too." 

"Will you marry me?" Was Pete's only mumbled reply before he passed out face first in his own vomit, which was conveniently also located right on the crotch of Patrick's black jeans. 

Half the room cheered and the other half booed as Patrick tried to support Pete's body weight by cradling his unconscious head into his wet, disgusting crotch.

Gabe emerged from the crowd just as Patrick was pushing Pete sideways onto the carpeted floor. "I'd like to say that Pete's dates don't usually end with his face in someone's damp crotch but that would be a lie. He is usually conscious though...and less vomit covered." He said as he supported Pete from his underarms and gently placed him on his side. 

"Yeah it's okay, just make sure he gets some water and a bed, or at least a pillow."

"He'll be fine where he is, serves the little shit right for stealing my tequila." Gabe laughed and affectionately petted Pete's head, earning a groan from the limp body, before disappearing back into the crowd. 

"Great, now I have to babysit the guy that puked on my dick, this is like dating Brendon Urie all over again." Patrick sighed as he began dragging Pete from his underarms into the closest bedroom, which, from the black bed sheets and fluorescent underwear covered floor, he was pretty sure was Gabe's. 

After getting Pete cleaned up, undressed and under the covers Patrick was so tired he just stripped off his wet t-shirt and puke soaked jeans and got in right next to Pete. 

Patrick was rudely awoken far too early by a very excited scream of "REALLY!?" from Pete, followed by two groans of hungover pain. 

"Gabe?" Patrick asked, sitting up and seeing that at some point in the night Gabe must have wanted his own bed back and crawled in on Pete's other side. 

"Wait guys...really?" Pete asked, quieter this time but just as excited. 

"Really what?" Patrick asked with sleep deprived anger.

Pete just grinned and gestured to Patrick's, Gabe's, and his own exposed chests and Patrick finally got it. 

"NO, NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. NEVER." Patrick shut down Pete's thoughts instantly and attempted to cover his chest with the bed sheets. 

"Oh my god, did you think?!" Gabe laughed when he understood what Pete was so happy about. "Dude, whatever you just fantasized about, I swear the opposite happened." 

"Then why am I in bed naked with two also naked men?" Pete asked, clinging desperately to his hot, drunk, threesome fantasy. 

"Because you gave Patrick a tequila motorboat then threw up and passed out on his crotch." 

"After telling me you didn't want sex until after marriage." Patrick added.

Pete's grin quickly disappeared, "I did what? Like literally what the fuck is a tequila motorboat?" 

"Well you should know, you invented it last night." Gabe smirked wickedly, "It's when you suck tequila off the chest of another person, everyone was doing it after you." 

"I did that..to Patrick? Fuck dude, I'm sorry." 

"Oh that's not even the worst part!" Gabe was unhealthy excited about bringing back Pete's lost memories from the night before. "After you performed the world's first tequila motorboat you asked Patrick to marry you then vomited on his dick, and my favourite part! After all that, you passed out in your own puke on Patrick's crotch as the crowd cheered in the background." 

Pete's already red, hungover face, flushed even darker, "I-I'm so sorry, I don't usually give people...tequila motorboats and then..." he couldn't even say the rest of it he was so embarrassed. "Oh god I'm never drinking again." 

"Well I would say don't worry about it, but you kinda ruined my favourite party jeans, and licked my nipple." 

"I can buy you new jeans! And a new nipple if you really want." Pete offered as Gabe not so subtly snorted with laughter. "Shut up Gabe, this is all your fault, what the fuck kind of tequila was that?" 

"My tequila." Gabe pointed out, getting out of the bed absolutely naked. "Oh hey that's my dick, sorry." He apologised and covered himself with his hands as he made his way into the bathroom. 

"I'm seriously so sorry, like I'm so sorry that you met me, and had to get my ass into this bed because I'm sure Gabe didn't do that, and I'm especially sorry for everything I did while under the influence of Gabe's Satan juice." 

"Apology accepted, and honestly, before the motorboating you were actually really sweet." 

"So what you're saying is that I had a chance and I ruined it?" 

"I wouldn't say it's ruined completely..." Patrick said slyly, "If you wanted to pay me back for the jeans you could take me out for dinner sometime?" 

"Really?! Okay let's go to breakfast, right now!" Pete jumped up but immediately regretted it and fell back into the bed with a groan. 

"It's okay, I won't change my mind. Just go throw up and then you can give me your number and we'll go from there okay?" 

"Sounds good. Also, I do have sex before marriage, just so you know..." Pete smiled before scrambling to his feet and running into the bathroom Gabe was showering in. 

Patrick laughed to himself as he heard Pete gag and Gabe scream girlishly from the ensuite.

**Author's Note:**

> lol I grew the fuck up and wrote a fic that wasn't desperately sad and clearly a cry for help. hope u liked it <333


End file.
